"You can't always get what you want."
"If you spot a rattlesnake just freeze. Daddy will take care of it."
"You can never trust a Dodger fan - ever."
"If 'wishes' and 'buts' were candies and nuts, we'd all have a really nice party."
The most important lesson he taught me was this, the golden rule: "You don't know everything." This has been the hardest lesson to learn of them all. I tested my father constantly while I was growing up. When I was 6-years-old he was trying to teach me how to play baseball.
"Level swing. Eyes on the ball. Watch the ball hit the bat."
"I know what I am doing dad."
"No you don't."
Of course I would swing and miss because I closed my eyes at the last second. It wasn't until I listened to his words, that I actually made contact. I hated admitting that he was right. I would usually play the denial card.
"No dad. I hit the ball this time because I swung faster than usual."
He wouldn't argue with me. What's the point when you have a stubborn daughter that knows everything? I don't blame him.
My life is filled with stories like this. He would be explaining something to me and I would interject and say, "I know, dad." You know what he would say? "No you don't." I became very frustrated. When would I know everything? He seemed to know everything, but he's 50-years-old. Do I really have to wait until I'm middle aged before I know everything?
As I've been getting older, something strange has been happening. I realize, slowly but surely, that I really don't know anything at all. This has been hard to admit, believe me. It's challenging to go from the girl that knows everything to the girl that knows nothing at all. Isn't it strange that as I get older I am realizing how little I actually do know?
There is one thing that I am learning. I do not know what is best for my life. I've made plans, and I've seen them fall through. I am disappointed at first, but with time I realize that the plan was a terrible one or it didn't actually make me happy. As a graduate student I have had to make many plans: plans for an internship, plans for group meetings, plans for my future career, etc. Everything is organized in my computer. I know what my day looks like, what my week looks like, even what the whole month looks like. It is full of plans.
But my plan for my life is anything but expected. I can't expect that things won't change. Things will change, dramatically. They change for a reason. He is the reason - The Master Planner. The one who designed the Universe, created me, died for me, saved me, loves me - knows what is best for me. He knows my heart. He knows what I need. His timing is perfect.
I don't know everything, but I do know one thing. His plans are so much better than my own.
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